Quote From My Latest Kindle Book

Here's a quote from one of the books I'm currently reading on my Kindle (The Power of Prayer to Change Your Marriage by Stormie Omartian):

"You always grow to love the person you pray for."

Hunting & Those Lovely Love Languages

My beautiful friend Lizzie (in the pic above with her wonderful husband Randy) wrote this post. Enjoy!

Oh, you've heard of them, those five love languages. Kinda like a personality test for your bent on love. The book by Gary Chapman has been around for many years and just like those personality tests it's fun to see who you are. Ofcourse, I tend to be quite uncomplicated, I didn't even need to read the description to bead in on mine and Randy's love languages.

Acts of Service.

Who me? Am I really that simple? Really?

Um, yes.

A little work on the house, some errands run for me, watching the kids so I can grocery shop in peace, even straightening up a room is apparently all I need to feel content and loved.

Randy? Physical touch, with quality time taking a close second. When we were dating, I remember he always wanted to hold my hand (fingers intertwined) or have me sit right next to him in his little Ford Ranger. In fact, I would shift gears so he could keep his arm around me while we drove! Now if that doesn't shout physical touch, I not sure what does. We always were together, going to the movies, playing card games with my family or cuddling on the couch, that was our qt.

So how does this help in real life? Let me give you an example.....

Right now we are approaching a very busy time for Randy.....hunting season is getting under way. Stick with me here, "early season" isn't even until the end of September, but for my "type A" man, preparations start way before that. Plowing fields, planting crops, setting up game cameras, deciding on stand placement, etc all need to be worked out before the season opens. This can be a super stressful time for both of us, but, understanding eachothers love languages can come in handy.

Randy knows that I am most happy when he helps me out around the house (mostly maintenance and some remodeling) or at least supports the work I would like to do. Remember, I'm an acts of service girl, I like getting projects going, seeing things fulfilled. Now, he can either ignore those needs and convince himself he's worked hard all year for this time and deserves every moment of enjoyment while I take care of things around the house or he can plan ahead, discuss what we are trying to accomplish and devise a plan of action while scheduling his time for all the hunting his heart can handle.

That was a serious run-on sentence, I know.

Okay, turn the tables. I know Randy looks forward to the quality time he puts in at the farm and in the stands hunting. These few weeks are what he anticipates and works for all year. I also know he misses the kids and I the entire time he is gone and always looks forward to getting back home and being with us, loving lots of hugs and kisses on his return. Now, if we have worked out a plan to make sure I don't feel overwhelmed while he is gone (leaving me at {mostly}peace), then I will have a greater desire to reciprocate my love when he comes home. Instead of feeling resentful, I will embrace him for thinking of me and loving me, even when he is away. Rather than give him the cold shoulder, I can feel content being close to him after he gets home. His love language asks that I shower him with affection and naturally he will return that to me by making sure my to-do list get done.

Ofcourse, these aren't pre-conditions. Life happens and perfectly made plans can unravel. If he doesn't meet all of my needs or I don't meet his, we can't withhold love. Marriage is about commitment and striving to give more than you take. You can't make demands of your spouse simply because your love language "entitles" you to it. That would be just plain silly. But, if you work at understanding one another and how you "operate", it can ease tension, lessen bitterness, and build a stronger bond between you and your spouse.

Reality Check

My friend, Melissa, posted this as her status & I had to share it with you girls. Love it!

“In those moments when you are caught, you can rest. Don’t give way to panic. Don’t give into doubt because this is not what you would have planned...You are waiting because there is a plan. You are waiting because your life is under the control of One who is wise and good. You can rest, not because you know what is happening, but because you know the One who is in control of what is happening right now. ” Paul Tripp

Melissa also wrote this post:
He does all things well
I had lunch with a friend today. She is really struggling with not being married. As she looks out, there are just not any guys that are pursuing. Or any guys that she'd even be thrilled about if they did pursue. And she struggles with feeling like it's because something is wrong with her, she isn't pretty enough, and the list goes on. As I was listening to her, my heart ached. For I too know the pain of this unfulfilled longing. How I desire to partner with someone in life and ministry! To live life together, have a family, serve our Savior together. And those are good desires! God-given! And yet, the God who gives those desires has also seen fit to not fulfill them right now.

So where does that leave us? This deep ache of loneliness and desire for marriage can shake us to our core. So as I listened to my friend share with tears filling her eyes, so much began swirling around in my own mind. For these are well-traveled paths in my heart.

First of all, it IS painful. It IS a trial. As my mom reminded me, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick." So yes, a very real grieving is natural. And yet, our Savior does not leave us there. We must not leave ourselves there in such a mire.

This whole issue of being single and longing for marriage all comes down to , yet again, trust. Trust in my Savior who does all things well. It may not seem like He's doing well as I celebrate another birthday alone. And yet, how arrogant of me to place myself as judge. And how mistaken for me to overlook the thousand other blessings He's given me, clinging with white knuckles to the one blessing I so desperately want that I have not received. Lord, forgive me. You have been nothing but good!

"He who did not spare His own Son, will He not with Him graciously give us all things." Romans 8:32. Like everything else in life, after I strip away all the peripheral issues, I come back to this. He has done it all for me. He has met my greatest need. I deserved wrath. And I've been shown mercy. This silences my murmuring heart. Quickly puts me in my proper place - kneeling with open hands before my Savior who does all things well.

Yes, He does ALL things well.

Why This All Started. . .

I remember writing this - my fingers nearly trembling with excitement at the idea of bringing women together in prayer for our husbands (both present or future). It's been so wonderful to meet new people interested in joining our prayer group & hearing their stories. *sigh* Thank you, friends! :)

My name is Jen. I'm a single woman in my early thirties and a passionate advocate for marriage! The purpose of my Wives Praying Boldly blog is to prayerfully support our marriages - whether you're single and waiting on God's timing, or married and wanting to cover your relationship in prayer, this community is for you. I believe NO situation or person is ever beyond a miracle!

As my life verse says, God is able to do "far more abundantly beyond anything that we can ask or imagine!" Eph. 3:20-21

About Me: I adore musicals, waking up to the staccato of rain on my window, laughing with my gregarious Irish-Italian family, twinkle lights, hosting theme parties, intriguing conversations, sneaking swipes of frosting off of cupcakes, fancy glasses with little umbrellas, wearing cute & sassy aprons while pretending to cook, the old school Hollywood era, vanilla lattes from Coffee Bean, fro yo, hiking, making kids laugh, photography, mangoes, Jane Austen novels, mint sprig garnishes, Treat Tuesday Surprises, stories ~ true or fictitious, and am forever on a quest to find new ways to celebrate life and cherish people.

Preparing Your Heart For His

This prayer is from Praying for Your Future Husband: Preparing Your Heart For His by Robin Jones Gunn & Tricia Goyer.

Lord, I pray that my future husband will see You as his strength and his song. "The Lord Himself is my strength and my defense; He has become my salvation." Isaiah 12:2 b

Happy Monday, Friends! :)

Celebrating 5 Months!

Friends, for those of you who started with me way back in late February of this year, do you realize we've been praying for over 5 months now? This is the longest I've stuck with consistent prayer for my husband and having this accountability has really helped me not to "get weary in well doing." I hope the same has been true for you.


My latest conviction has been that I wasn't praising God in advance for an answer to my prayer. So, today (whether you're praying for a change in your marriage or for your future husband or whatever is on your heart) would you join me in praising God for the way His glory will shine in our love story? Praise Him for His faithfulness and goodness in fulfilling your heart's desires. I know, this might be the hardest thing I've asked you to do so far in this journey. At least, it's been the hardest for me. The first time I attempted this, I could hardly get the words out with all the doubts and "What ifs" bombarding my mind. Before you pray, it might help to pray on the spiritual armor.

Ephesians 6:10-18: Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. Stand firm therefore, HAVING GIRDED YOUR LOINS WITH TRUTH, and HAVING PUT ON THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, and having shod YOUR FEET WITH THE PREPARATION OF THE GOSPEL OF PEACE; in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. And take THE HELMET OF SALVATION, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints.

Becoming Chao: Twisted logic

"The twisted logic of the flesh is subtle—or it wouldn't work. It sounds reasonable. It knows that God has called you to work hard at your calling, and to give yourself to other people in love. Of course, the flesh would rather you did nothing noble and pleasing to God; but if it can use your work and social life to undermine your communion with God, it will.

"But think through this: Is it likely that God would call you to do more than he gives you time to do? No one who believes God is good and wise could answer yes. So when it seems you don't have enough time to do your work, care for your family, love your friends, and devote yourself to prayer and meditation, the problem isn't God's providence. The problem may be that you've taken on yourself more than God intended."

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

"Which is easier: to sit with a bucket of butter-soaked popcorn and watch Tom Cruise on the big screen for two hours, or kneel and pray for five minutes? Tom Cruise wins hands down, because there is literally no competition. What the flesh hates is God, so it resists anything that smacks of God—especially communion with him. The flesh can curl up by your side and watch mindless movies all night long. But let even the barest thought of meditations flutter into your mind, and the flesh goes to Red Alert. Before you get past "Our Father," your eyes, which were glued to the screen, now sag in sleepiness, and your attention, which was so fixed on the plot, now zips around the universe faster than the Starship Enterprise.

"You can feel the hostility of the flesh whenever you approach God—it makes real love for him into work."

—Kris Lundgaard, The Enemy Within

Praise Changes Things

I came across this in my devotional time, and it hit me like a bucket of ice water. Why hadn't I seen this before? Why have I waited until now to START doing this? Read this excerpt from Streams in the Desert and we'll "chat" at the end of it, okay? (it's funny typing this all into my computer, because I feel like we all should be sitting down having iced vanilla lattes at my house on my big couches instead! Sometimes I pretend that we are. :) ) Here goes:

Jesus looked up and said, "Father, I thank you that you have heard me." John 11:41 The sequence of events in this passage seems strange and unusual. Lazarus was still in his tomb, yet Jesus' thanksgiving preceded the miracle of raising him from the dead. It seems that thanks would only have been lifted up once the great miracle had been accomplished and Lazarus had been restored to life. But Jesus gave thanks for what He was about to receive. His gratitude sprang forth before the blessing had arrived, in an expression of assurance that it was certainly on its way. The song of victory was sung before the battle had been fought. It was the Sower singing the song of harvest - it was thanksgiving before the miracle!

Who ever thinks of announcing a victory song as the army is just heading out to the battlefield? And where do we ever hear a song of gratitude and thanksgiving for an answer that has not yet been received?

Yet in this Scripture passage, there is nothing strange, forced, or unreasonable to the Master's sequence of praise before the miracle. Praise is actually the most vital preparation to the working of miracles.

Praise Changes Things:

Nothing pleases God more than praise as part of our prayer life, and nothing blesses someone who prays as much as the praise that is offered. I once received a great blessing from this while in China. I had recently received bad news from home and deep shadows of darkness seemed to cover my soul. I prayed but the darkness remained. I forced myself to endure but the shadows only deepened. Then suddenly one day, as I entered a missionary's home at an inland station, I saw these words on the wall: "Try giving thanks." So I did, and in a moment every shadow was gone, never to return. Yes, the psalmist was right: "It is good to praise the Lord." Psalm 92:1

Isn't that so good?? I've been faithful in praying, but I haven't once praised God in advance for answering my prayer for a godly husband. So, I stopped and closed my eyes and did just that. And it was so hard to get the words out. Doubts from the enemy threatened to steal my faith. What if God doesn't have marriage for you? Aren't you being a bit presumptuous? I ignored the lies and decided that I would pray boldly and praise Him for the gift of marriage and prepare myself for that role until God either brings that about or He leads me in another direction.
If you haven't praised God for your future husband or praised Him for the work He will do in healing your marriage (or whatever it is you're praying for), I encourage you to stop right now and do just that! :)

Love & Blessings,
Jen