A Love Story by Andrew Hess

Jen and I met on Thursday, August 7, 2014 on the first night of a conference at Focus on the Family in Colorado Springs. Our mutual friend, Ivette, introduced us towards the end of the evening. During our first conversation, I noticed that Jen was easy to talk to and had depth of character; I also couldn't help but notice her beautiful blue eyes. I hoped I would see her again sometime during the weekend.

Friday, I had another conversation with Jen during a break and invited her to come and join our table for the afternoon sessions. I decided I wanted to be intentional about getting to know her. On Saturday, I invited several friends to come with me to an overlook of Colorado Springs in Palmer Park after the screening of "The Song." As God would have it, Jen was the only one that could go. I knew she might not want to go by ourselves since we had just met, but I went ahead and asked anyway, "I'll still take you if you'd like to go." She said yes (it would not be her last yes :). We had a great conversation and enjoyed the panoramic view of the city.

Later Saturday night, I was hoping to find a seat by Jen at dinner. I was thankful there was one open. That night as the conference wound down, I asked Jen if she had a ride to the airport the next day and offered to take her. She smiled and agreed and so I also offered to take her to church and lunch before her flight. Thankfully, she was up for spending the morning together. Sunday was such an enjoyable day! Jen is so easy to spend time with. After lunch, I dropped her off at the Colorado Springs airport, hoping to keep in touch. The thought struck me that I would need to be intentional about pursuing Jen if I wanted to be more than just some guy she met one time at a conference. 

After a few days of exchanging text messages, we talked on the phone for the first time. We learned we both enjoy talking on the phone (at least with each other). We had many great conversations and would often talk for four or five hours at a time. That first week we burned through over 20 hours of cell phone minutes. Apparently, we had a lot to catch up on! After another week, I told Jen I wanted to pursue her romantically and we planned for her to come to Colorado for Labor Day weekend. That weekend, we spent time with Ivette, who had first introduced us (may God bless her all the days of her life!) and went on our first official date. 

Jen flew home Monday morning and we both felt sure we wanted to move forward. As she flew home, I called her father and asked for his permission to date her. He asked me about my faith journey and what I liked most about Jen. At some point in the conversation, I told him my intentions were to get to know her better and see if we would be a good fit for marriage. I'm really glad I talked to him at that point, because it allowed me to communicate both my respect for him and my respect for her.

Three weeks later, I flew down to San Diego to meet Jen's family. It was a wonderful visit and good to see Jen through the eyes of the people who know her best and love her most. Another three weeks passed and I took her to Ohio to meet my family. This was also a great trip. We are blessed that we both get along really well with each other's families. God had already given us great peace that he was bringing us together and both of our families supported our decision to move toward marriage. 

After just over a year together, and many trips Colorado Springs and San Diego including a summer together in Colorado Springs, it was time for the next step. With her Dad's permission and blessing, I began to plan how I was going to propose. 

On October 10th, 2015, we got up early to hike at Jen's favorite beach—Torrey Pines. She had a hunch was that I might propose later that night, so she didn't seem suspicious when I asked for a backpack to carry a book I wanted to read to her. We drove to the beach and watched the sunrise, while we talked and made our way up the trail. We stopped at the top to take in the view of the ocean and cliffs. She sat down and I sat next to her, but instead of a book, I pulled a wrapped present out of the backpack. She was so surprised and unwrapped a book of affirmations—with attributes I love about her, favorite memories we've shared, and messages from her closest friends and family. Tears streamed down her face as we read every single page together. After we finished and closed the book, I prayed for her. Then I turned and looked into her eyes and said, "I love you, Jennifer Laura Brown." Her eyes grew wide, because we'd been waiting to say, "I love you," until we got engaged. I got down on one knee and asked her to be my wife. She said, "Yes!" and gave me the biggest hug. We hiked down and danced on the beach to one of our favorites, "Best of Me" by Michael Bublé.

I had the rest of the day planned. We explored sunny San Diego and did some things I knew Jen would love. We got iced coffees called the "Best Drink Ever" (because it sounds like something Jen would say!), and read the story of Martin Luther and his wife, Katherine Von Bora, at the beautiful new library downtown. Later that night, we went to an Italian restaurant in La Jolla, followed by a romantic walk at The Cove. The grand finale of the evening was chocolate fondue on a table covered in rose petals and candles. It was a perfect day.

After we announced our happy news, many people came up to us with tears in their eyes saying, "We've been praying for you for a long time."

In fact, that is the scarlet thread running throughout our story. We've both waited and prayed for a long time that we would find each other. Jen has prayed for the marriages of countless friends and leads women to pray for their husbands and future husbands on her blog. We both have been blessed by the prayers of more people than we can count. 

We are in our mid-thirties and know well what it is to wait and wait and wait… We've watched many friends and younger siblings get married and remember well what it feels like to silently wonder if God could have somehow forgotten about us. But he hadn't. He had a good plan in place the whole time and we merely needed to wait patiently and trust him with our story.

We both pray that our story might be encouraging to those still waiting. We remember well the yearnings and tears of that long season. And as we thank God for bringing us together, we pause, and say a prayer for each of you, our family and friends. May God bless each of you even as he has richly blessed us.

An Update :)

I'm still praying weekly, but haven't blogged in a while since I got engaged! Praise God from Whom all blessings flow!!! Wedding planning is keeping me busy, but I'll be back to post again soon. So thankful to be in this season and know it will go by quickly. I just want to savor every moment of it! Ephesians 3:20-21

Spurgeon Quote on Prayer

Love, Marriage & Sanctification

Sanctification. It's what someone said he most appreciated about his marriage. It really arrested my attention, because I don't know if I've ever heard anyone say that (at least not in a positive tone before) & I keep mulling over it. 

Since I'm older and have been single almost 16 years longer than "my plan" for my life ;) , it's easy to get comfortable in my own rhythms and I don't always notice all my really-not-so-endearing idiosyncrasies / habits that need to be sanctified. I do set aside time now and then to reflect on what I need to work on (the fruits of the spirit in Galatians and Proverbs 31 is so helpful for this) and I'm blessed to have wonderful family and core group of friends who speak boldly into my life and have the courage to point out blind spots I need to work on, but I think being in a romantic relationship really takes things to another level of iron sharpening iron. 

In the last year, I finally fell in love for the very first time. It was exhilarating, dizzying ...and (to be honest) a little scary to be known in such an emotionally intimate way. And definitely sanctifying. I learned things about myself I wouldn't have learned any other way. Weaknesses I thought I'd dealt long ago with came painfully to light and it was hard, but the good kind of hard. Like that time I climbed Mt. Whitney - so grueling, but the picturesque beauty at the summit was worth it. 

So, I'm thinking ahead and imagining how sanctification in marriage might be and I want to be able to say, just as that man did - how much I appreciate the sanctifying aspect of marriage. I pray that I will be humble and teachable enough to receive truth from my future husband about areas I need to grow in. And I pray that we would both whet each other's appetites for and spur each other on towards spiritual growth and maturity. Because, for the Christ-follower, that's what life is about: glorifying Him and becoming more and more conformed to His image. 

Added note: this is not to say singles have to settle for less sanctification in that season, but just that it might take more proactivity on their part in seeking out the wisdom of others & inviting them to speak into their lives. :) 

Prayer for My Husband

Lord, I lay all my expectations at Your cross. I release my future husband from the burden of fulfilling me in areas where I should be looking to You. Give me words to affirm his strengths and gifts. Let me be quick to encourage and slow to criticize. Let my heart towards him be full of grace and show me how I can show him, verbally and with my actions, that I respect him as a man and leader. Help me to accept him the way he is and not try to change him, but at the same time, I release him to change in ways I never thought he could. I leave any changing that needs to be done in Your hands, fully accepting that neither of us is perfect and never will be. Only You, Lord, are perfect, and I look to You to conform us into the image of Christ. May we be "joined together in the same mind." (1 Corinthians 1:10)

In Jesus' name I pray. Amen. 

"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as Christ forgave you." Ephesians 4:32 

*adapted from The Power of a Praying Wife

Today's Prayer for My Husband

Lord, please bless my future husband with delight in meditating on your Word and spending time with You. I pray he would be quick to worship You and give you all the glory for the gifts in his life. May his speech overflow with what is in his heart to bless and edify others. I ask that you would use him to shine the love of Christ wherever he goes. And equip me to be the support, best friend and encourager he needs. I pray we would bring You more glory together than we ever could apart. 

Amen 

Praying for the Work & Ministry of Our Husbands

Today, I'm thinking of my friend, Amanda, and all the Wednesdays we met for our favorite ginger peach iced tea and to pray for her husband, my future husband and the love stories of our friends & family. Today I'm praying that my future husband would find favor in his work and in ministry and that I would be his biggest fan & support to his goals and dreams. Whether you're single or married, join me in prayer today!

Week 11: His Future

Lord,

I pray that my future husband will always live in a way that invests in his future. I pray he would have a sense of purpose. Fill him with hope for his future as an "anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast" (Hebrews 6:19). Give him his heart's desire (Psalm 21:2) and keep him fresh and flourishing and bearing fruit into old age (Psalm 92:13-14). Fill him with the knowledge of Your will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding that he may have a walk worthy of You, fully pleasing to You, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of You (Colossians 1:9-10). May he live by the leading of the Holy Spirit and not walk in doubt and fear of what may happen. Help him to mature and grow in You daily, submitting to You all his dreams and desires, knowing that "the things which are impossible with men are possible with God" (Luke 18:27). 

In Jesus name, Amen. 

(adapted from The Power of a Praying Wife)

Week 10: His Faith

Lord, I pray that You will give my husband an added measure of faith today. Enlarge his ability to believe in You, Your Word, Your promises, Your ways, and Your power. Put a longing in his heart to spend time with You and in Your Word. Give him an understanding of what it means to bask in Your presence and not just make requests. May he seek You, rely totally upon You, be led by You, put You first, and acknowledge You in everything he does. May my husband be free from doubt and trust You completely with his life. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

Musings on Grace

Some mazes-of-contemplation style notes (translation: somewhat random / not-so-polished) on what I learned today and a prayer (because that's one of my favorite things to do).

I have the privilege of leading a weekly discipleship group for middle school girls. Today's topic was on the grace and mercy of God. One of the girls made the distinction that mercy is when you don't get something you do deserve and grace is God giving us what we do not deserve. I've thought about that several times throughout today.

My introduction to grace came early in life. I was saved at five years old and grew up in the church. I was also blessed to grow up in a strong Christian family, so naturally the concept of grace and what I'd been saved from didn't hit me as hard as others with more dramatic testimonies and longer stretches of life lived apart from God. I did understand I was a sinner, of course. Case in point: at around 7 years old, I stole my sister's Easter candy. (which she easily called me out on, because she made a makeshift spread sheet documenting the number and kind of each candy she had and would erase tally marks with each eaten piece...Type A, much?? Another telltale sign was all the pieces that suddenly vanished from her stash were my top favorite chocolate candies. *sigh*) I wish I could say it was the only incident of flagrant thievery in my childhood, but there was also that one time when I swiped the neighbor girl's sparkly sticker collection...but I digress.

So, grasping mercy and grace...I mean, yes, I understood it as much as I could at that age. I understood it enough to desire a relationship with Jesus. But really being overwhelmed by the stark contrast of my wretchedness and the righteousness of Christ didn't come until later in life. And the beauty of grace and redemption hit me again today while thinking of who I might be apart from my Savior...shuddering to think about it, actually.

I was telling the middle school girls that one of my favorite quotes on grace is - "There will always be more grace in Christ than there is sin in me." That just amazes me! My sin and weaknesses and flaws are NO match for His glorious grace. Such a comforting thought.

You can easily tell those who have known much grace and mercy in their own lives, because they are the most generous with bestowing it to others.


Father, may my future husband be a man who is confident in who he is in Christ, yet humble because of his awareness of his deep need for grace. I pray he would be known for the grace he shows to others and by doing so that he would point others clearly towards You and show them a glimpse of Your heart. In Jesus' name, Amen