I've known Karen since elementary school. We sang in choirs together, went on family camping / hiking trips, and celebrated countless life events together with our families. She is beautiful, athletic, a dedicated teacher, the oldest of 5 girls, loves missions and is forever on a quest to serve others.
Truth be told (have I ever confessed this to you, Karen??), I used to wonder how in the world a man would ever manage to get her attention since she has always been focused and "tunnel-visioned". . .
Fast forward to Troy: I made up my mind I liked Troy before I ever really knew him. But I didn't really have to know him. I knew enough about Karen & what kind of woman she was. And he had managed to get Karen's attention, so he HAD to be pretty incredible. She's not the kind of girl to date recreationally, (she's always been a quality over quantity kind of girl) so if she was consistently carving out time for him in her busy schedule, I knew he had to be outstanding!
Okay, enough of my rambling and on to her story. Grab some tissues, brew a mug of something sweet and be prepared to praise the God who is still writing beautiful love stories to proclaim His faithfulness, bring Himself glory and bless His children.
As I sit down to write my story for Jen, I ask myself, “When does a relationship actually ‘start?’
You might say ours started with an (irrational) irate parent who almost made me cry one day. Troy put a note of encouragement in my school mailbox. I had no clue he even cared who I was.
You could say our relationship started with a mutual friend’s unfortunate motorcycle accident that found us both going to visit him in the hospital. Getting stuck in traffic on the way back meant that we had extra time to talk about Biblical Counseling, theology, and favorite authors like Lewis and Bonhoeffer.
Or was it the time Troy tried to bring me a surprise cup of coffee one morning and I had to say ‘no’ because I was on a “Cleanse” food plan?
Most undoubtedly it was when he found me at work and asked, “I have a question. Will you go out with me sometime?” I started sweating. I didn’t have much experience with guys asking me out. My complicated answer that thanked him for asking (letting him know why I was sure we wouldn’t work out) somehow worked back around to me agreeing to a lunch date the next day. I know I wasn’t nervous and I remember conversation flowing very naturally and easily. He dove right in sharing his testimony and asking questions, leaving me humbled by his blunt honesty. My tactic of bringing up topics and subjects that I thought would prove to him that we were in fact “different” failed numerous times as it appeared we agreed on certain life issues such as theology, Biblical Roles, and even homeschooling. I wouldn’t let on during lunch that I was, in fact, having one of the most severe asthma attacks of my life (due to flower pollen) which would leave me almost voiceless for a week. I was leaving for Texas in 2 days and asked him if I could pray and contact him when I got back.
In Texas, playing “mommy” to my little second cousins, I found I couldn’t wait and sent him an Email.
The month of June found us spending a lot of time with our families and going on a lot of walks and talks. Bike rides. Beach runs. We agreed that we would rather try to figure out “Why we shouldn’t date” and trust the Lord to guide us. While this lead to many intense conversations, I found I enjoyed them and even looked forward to them! After a month we said goodbye for the summer.
On July 1st, I left to teach in Uganda for almost a month, coming back home on the same day Troy would be flying out to help build an orphanage in Peru for 2 weeks. At this point, people started telling us our relationship was starting to look like a Hallmark movie. While internet access was intermittent for both of us, long Emails flew across “the pond.” He and my dad met at Starbucks to talk each of the weeks I was out of the country, which was admirable. Living my dream abroad, I found that while I was reunited with the part of my heart that I left in Uganda, it was much easier to step back on the plane this time. I suspected I knew why. Being on the ground in Chicago only meant one thing to me – Troy and I were able to catch each other on our cell phones, right before he boarded the plane in LAX to Peru. More transcontinental Emails and Gchat sessions ensued. To say that I was excited to see him again after 6 weeks would be an understatement.
August quickly brought the end of the summer, the start of a new school year, and the realization that perhaps our friendship was here to stay. Fall found constant notes of encouragement in my mail box at school and surprise cups of tea or homemade smoothies on my desk at the back of my classroom. My first graders were clueless as we quietly flirted over the tops of their precious heads. The holidays brought fun times with our friends and family, my admission that Troy was in fact my “boyfriend,” more intense talks, and a period of time that saw a friendship make way for romance. I experienced my first flowers (on our 6 month anniversary), the humble realization that he still liked me regardless of my human-ness, and my first Valentine’s Day. When I had an asthma attack and threw up after the Go-Cart session at his 30th Birthday, he drove me home without question to make sure I was taken care of. All his friends and family had his birthday dinner without him!
He started to ask about what type of ring I would want. I had no idea. Round, please?
The summer flew by filled with family & friends, more talks, movies, times at the motorcycle track, beach, and a fun trip for me to Florida to visit friends. When I came back, I told Troy that he had put a damper on the joy I found in traveling. Little did I know that he was designing a ring and getting it made behind the backdrop of our busy summer and fall. I suspected we would be engaged by Christmas but didn’t think about it much.
In October, after a Friday filled with teaching and training, Troy took me to La Jolla Cove. One look at all his camera equipment in the back of his truck told my brain that he would be “tinkering” with photography stuff and I told him I should have brought the pile of grading I had left in my classroom. He had me right where he wanted me. I was clueless about what was going to happen. 30 minutes later, perfectly situated on a cliff overlooking the ocean, he suddenly thrust his laptop onto my knees as I was staring at a beautiful sun sinking closer to the horizon.
“Look at this for me, will you?”
I did.
The glare of the sun kept me from seeing that the website I was looking was in fact www.karenwillyoumarryme.com and it wasn’t until I was halfway through the video and picture show that I realized what was happening in that moment. When it was over he asked me quietly to stand up and got down on one knee, asking me to marry him. I am told I said “yes” at least 13 times after staring in shock at the beautiful ring that was slid over my left ring finger. I am so glad our friend Corey was hiding on the other side of the cove and in the bushes, taking pictures with his huge paparazzi-style lens. (www.frameworthyphotography.net) Both our families were waiting at my house, ready to cheer for us as we walked in the door and excited to hear the story.
So now I still wonder, “When does a relationship start?” Because now, as we begin this huge step of faith together, planning to serve the Lord together for the rest of our lives: we always speak of when our life together starts in 6 months. I suppose, then, that it truly “started” in the mind of the Great Master Planner himself, our Heavenly Father. In the end, I’m glad He is in charge and not I. I continue to be greatly humbled that I have the honor of being on earth to glorify HIM and that Troy & I are part of this plan.
I guess that makes this both the end and the beginning, right Jen?
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