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"Forgiveness unleashes JOY. It brings PEACE. It washes the slate clean. It sets all the highest values of love in motion. In a sense, forgiveness is Christianity at its highest level." ~ John MacArthur
"To be forgiven is such sweetness that honey is tasteless in comparison with it. But there is one thing sweeter still and that is to forgive." ~ Spurgeon
If you had asked me a couple of years ago if I was bitter or battling unforgiveness, I would have said, "No, but I'm struggling with past and present hurts." God used the book, Choosing Forgiveness by Nancy Leigh DeMoss, to get a hold of my heart and show me how unforgiveness had taken root in me, was masquerading as hurt and crippling some of my relationships. I knew I was supposed to forgive and I wearily trudged through the motions of my "Christian duty." The part I struggled most with was when old memories flashed through my mind and old hurts seemed fresh and raw once again. The other aspect that was tough for me was forgiving someone who had a history of being a repeat offender.
"I know exactly what's going to happen," I murmur to myself with frustration, "I'll forgive them for this stupid thing and as soon as that's over, they'll be on to the next hurtful stupid thing! It would be so much easier to forgive if it was the last time I'd feel this pain. But they'll never change!"
Anyway, I've been thinking about forgiveness lately & this book came to mind today and I felt compelled to start rereading it. Here's a few excerpts:
"Our natural inclination is to wish upon those offenders at least a measure of what they deserve. But if we are going to be true instruments of mercy in each other's lives, we must deal in truth - God's truth. NOT blissful, artificial denial, trying to act as though the hurt never happened. Not rigid, mechanical words and formulas, as if following some legalistic, step-by-step recipe were all that was required.
I'm talking about the sweet, rich pure Word and ways of God, not laid perfunctorily or unnaturally atop our real life experiences, but pulsing with vitality, healing and grace, as God wrests reconciliation from the jaws of brokenness; as He restores, redeems, and ultimately makes all things new.
*His truth is even strong enough to face situations where an apology never comes - or where an apology is impossible due to death or some other restriction - strong enough to leave us free and whole, heart and soul, by the gift of forgiveness."
"But often we can't see it [ referring to a root of unforgiveness], even when it's there. How can you tell? For starters, see if you relate to any of these statements:
- I often replay in my mind the incident(s) that hurt me.
- When I think of a particular person or situation, I still feel angry.
- I try hard not to think about the person, event, or circumstance that caused me so much pain.
- I have a subtle secret desire to see this person pay for what he or she did to me.
- Deep in my heart, I wouldn't mind if something bad happened to the person who hurt me.
- I often find myself telling others how this person has hurt me.
- Whenever his or her name comes up, I am more likely to say something negative than something positive about him or her.
"To be a Christian," C. S. Lewis said, "means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in us."
When it comes to forgiveness, our Lord would not command us to do something that He would not enable us to do. Or that He hasn't done Himself.
I read this entire book through tears from cover to cover on a flight home a few years ago. By the time I got home, the broken parts of my heart were in God's hands & my hurt towards my offenders had turned into forgiveness (after years of going through the motions and failing at true lasting forgiveness), even though they hadn't asked me for it. That's SO God! I thought I could only move on when they really got it, acknowledged my hurt AND could promise never to hurt me again, but I learned that I can live in the FREEDOM of forgiveness regardless of anything the other person does or doesn't do. It was such a pivotal moment for me. The fact that His grace is truly sufficient had never been more real to me.
If you get a chance to read it, I'd love to know what you think of it & how it blessed you. I love discussing books as much as I love reading them! :)
