My Plan for Love

on my mind tonight:

When I was in high school, my plan was to marry young (24, if I could wait that long), be a homemaker & enjoy married life for a few years, have my first baby at 27, my next one at 30 and my last at 32. Basically, I wanted to be like my mom, who made being a wife and stay at home mom look wonderful. 2 of my 4 younger sisters followed her lead and married young as well. As kids we all talked about how we wanted to grow up and be like mom.

Well, I'm 34, still a teacher and God has decided He is getting the most glory out of my continued singleness. Obviously, I had to let go (and let go again and again over the years) of my dream for my life and trust my God. One of my favorite quotes is "God's will is exactly what we would want if we knew all the details." I love that.

I know that this time is a gift and, believe me, I have done and experienced so many incredible life changing things as a single. Occasionally (and it always surprises me), a married friend will even sigh wistfully and say, "You make it look like so much fun." It is, but mostly it's fun and full (as most lots in life are) when I choose to make it that way.

Part of what helps me cherish this time is using the creative gifts God gave me. I love making handmade cards, writing poetry, hosting theme parties, telling stories, drawing, painting, giving gifts, planning spa nights for friends or sisters who've had a stressful day, writing (finished my first children's book last April & had it illustrated by a talented local Christian artist), crafting, etc. Well, lately I've been teaching an art enrichment class & it's coming to a close, so I'm going crazy at the thought of not having a creative outlet. I want something that will use my gifts, bless others and bring God glory. . .not sure what that is yet. . .but I'm praying for God's direction.

Christian Marriages Proclaim the Gospel

I'm currently reading The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller & I especially loved this paragraph:

"Marriage is God's gift to the church. Through Christian marriages, the story of the gospel - of sin, grace, and restoration - can be seen and heard both inside the church and out in the world. Christian marriages proclaim the gospel. That is how important they are. The Christian community has a deep interest in the development of strong, great marriages and therefore a vested interest in the community's singles marrying well."

I liked this one, too. It made me think of the handful of married couples I admire who have shown me this:

"We are called to be transparent before one another. One particular way married people can do that is by displaying the real work of their marriages - not just the sweet, light parts...but the hard, embattled parts - to the unmarried. Think of what an impact that would have! Singles must see how hard and how glorious marriage is, not just how satisfying it is. They only way that happens is if married couples share their lives with singles so they can understand what marriage is really like."

Post by Colleen

People-pleasing: the curse and the cure

I'm still addicted.

To your approval.
      To her response.
            To his affirmation.

For as far back as I can remember, people-pleasing has chronically
robbed me of peace, joy, a good night's sleep, effective ministry,
and freedom to love others authentically.

In fact, as I type this, I'm a little stressed over several people in my life who
disapprove of me right now. I'd really like to explain myself, to vindicate my choices,
to get back into their good graces.

But my Lord continues to press me into this place of surrender.

Surrendering my rights,
      my reputation,
            my rationalizing.

(Weird but true: I rationalize—silently, in my head—with that person who
doesn't approve of me. I have full on conversations with them,
explaining myself into their favor again, coercing them into understanding me.)

So am I doomed to forever failure in this area of my life? Am I a serial people-pleaser
sentenced to life in prison?

Not hardly.

I have a tenacious, relentless Savior who not only paid the penalty for my
sin of people-pleasing, but He's also in the business of breaking the power it has in my life.

Slowly but surely, He is freeing me—using my fight against this sin to
strengthen my character and help me love and enjoy Him more...and more...and more.

Perhaps I'll always fight against this sin, and in the fighting give God glory.
Some days I fight well. Other days I end up bloodied and beaten.
But on the victorious days, I've found three exercises that help me fight well:

1. Cling to the Word. I've taped Scripture to my walls and mirrors, 
2. posted it in my car, uploaded it on my cell phone wallpaper, 
3. and written it on index cards to carry with me. (Colossians 3:16)
4. Keep a thankful heart. Trying to make everyone happy robs me 
5. of joy and gratitude, because I'm fighting a hopeless battle! 
6. Practicing gratitude (for even the smallest things) shifts my focus away 
7. from people and back to Jesus. (Hebrews 12:2)
8. Pray. And keep praying. Get on your knees. Humble yourself. 
9. Acknowledge your neediness. Pray in faith. Pray for big miracles—
10. in your heart and theirs. "Whatever you ask in My name, this I will do..." 
11. (John 14:13; 15:16; 16:23)