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31 Days of Courage – Singleness.
Today’s post is the first of several guest posts that will appear this month. Jen and I attended college together, and since I admire her courage and joy when it comes to singleness, I asked her to share with all of you.
When I was asked to write a guest post on the topic of courage in singleness and striking the balance between being honest about my desire to marry as well to live a full life as a single, I was humbled. Me having courage? Any hint of courage or joyful embrace of the life I’m blessed to call mine was (is) completely a gift of His grace. I’ll be honest and admit there were more days when tears stream down my face after attending yet another bridal shower, baby shower or wedding (including those of two of my younger sisters and even “kids” I used to babysit!).
A big shift in my thinking about singleness came 3 years ago when I decided to start praying boldly for other singles, as well as my married friends, through my blog: Wives Praying Boldly. I had a dream of starting an online community that would bring together women of all seasons – singles, marrieds, married with children – in prayer for the men in their lives. . .or the ones that would be. As I got to know some of my readers and hear their stories, I marveled at the common bond we shared and praying for them got my eyes off of myself and focused on their needs. Simple, yet life changing for me.
Fast forward to this summer. . .more than ever, people keep commenting to me how joyful I seem. Part of that stemmed from finding opportunities to serve. I’m convinced that true JOY is found in serving others!
Another aspect of joy is found in resting in His faithfulness. A handful of friends have recently commented, “Jen, this is most peaceful and strong I’ve seen your heart in a long time.” It’s so interesting, because though there are some seemingly impossible circumstances in my life, I feel more assured than ever that God will display His glory in a way that shows off His goodness and faithfulness. And there have been many sweet reminders this summer that God hasn’t forgotten me & many faith-building moments. . .encouraging new people I’ve met and far more grace than I could ever deserve!
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’ve had my tough moments, like when my 17 year old “baby” sister started a serious relationship, that I just cried and asked the Lord, “When will my turn come?”
But in the midst of my doubts, tears and my 35th birthday at the end of the summer (Yes, 35! And I was the girl in high school who was sure I’d be married young), God began to open my eyes to see His faithfulness in a new way. I noticed my prayers changing from, “God, will you please give me the gift of marriage?” or “If you don’t have marriage for me, please take away this longing” to “Thank you, Lord, for the godly man you have for me & for the way our marriage will be for our good and your glory.” Not a request, but a quiet confidence that He was orchestrating details that I couldn’t see, that He had given me this deep desire to fulfill it, and that it would happen without any need for me to force things or make it happen.
I felt a new sense of peace and joy in regards to marriage and singleness. And when doubts come, I go back to the truth of who Christ says I am in The Word. Repeating truth until it drowns out the lies of the enemy. And eventually the battles get shorter, because satan cannot stand to hear God’s truth.
Above all, be encouraged, my friends. . .God is for you!
Further resources: two books on singleness that truly encouraged me: Get Married by Candice Watters (Don’t let the title turn you off, though I know it deterred me from reading it for quite a while. The message is unbelievably needed and refreshing.) And Becoming Chao by my dear friend, Colleen Elisabeth Chao (married at 34 to a godly man, this journey is written by a dear friend whose story came at a time when I so greatly needed to hear that good marriages do happen in the 30′s.)
Jen began her blog, Wives Praying Boldly, to encourage and inspire women of all seasons as they pray for their husbands and future husbands. Whether you’re single or married, this community is for you!
