This Season

Today, I was thinking about how the biggest blessing of this season is that my family has prayed together more, had more conversations about the Gospel, unconditional love and grace than we ever have. Beyond blessed. 

Beauty for Ashes

Got this quote from Melissa - SO good!

If you are in the deep shadows because of some strange, mysterious providence, do not be afraid. Simply go on in faith and love, never doubting. God is watching, and He will bring good and beauty out of all your pain and tears. —J. R. Miller

Not Return Void

Isaiah 55:11 - "So will My word be which goes

forth from My mouth; 

It will not return void, without accomplishing

what I desire, and without succeeding in the 

matter for which I sent it."

Devotional Highlights

"I must learn that the purpose of my life belongs to God, not me. God is using me from His great personal perspective, and all He asks of me is that I trust Him. I should never say, "Lord, this causes me such heartache." To talk that way makes me a stumbling block. When I stop telling God what I want, He can freely work His will in me without any hindrance. He can crush me, exalt me, or do anything else He chooses. He simply asks me to have absolute faith in Him and His goodness. Self-pity is of the devil, and if I wallow in it I cannot be used by God for His purpose in the world." ~ My Utmost for His Highest

"He commonly brings His help in our greatest extremity, that His finger may plainly appear in our deliverance. And this method He chooses that we may not trust upon anything that we see or feel, as we are always apt to do, but only upon His Word, which we may depend upon in every state.

Remember it is the very time for faith to work when sight ceases. The greater the difficulties, the easier for faith; as long as there remains certain natural prospects, faith does not get on even as easily as where natural prospects fail." ~ Streams in the Desert

Remember this, had any other condition been better for you than the one in which you are, divine love would have put you there. - Morning & Evening 

More Encouragement

I remember telling a friend (who, I admit, had the hardest circumstances & every reason to doubt) that the more humanly unlikely her chances were of having her desires granted, the more opportunity God had to show off His power and faithfulness. . .He specializes in impossible situations! That's what these quotes reminded me of.

Gratitude & Peace

"When prayer teams up with gratitude, when we open our eyes wide enough to see God's mercies even in the midst of our pain, and when when we exercise faith and give Him thanks even when we can't see those mercies, He meets us with his indescribable peace. It's a promise. . .Are you facing one or more chaotic, unsettled situations? Is your soul weary? There is peace, my friend, ~ God's peace ~ waiting for you just beyond the doors of deliberate gratitude." ~ Choosing Gratitude by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

Is Anything Too Difficult for the Lord?

First, I came across these verses & they were too encouraging too keep to myself:

Then, I opened up my devo for today..."Is anything too hard for the Lord?" Genesis 18:14. Here is God's loving challenge to you & to me today. He wants us to think of the deepest, highest, worthiest desire and longing of our hearts, something which perhaps was our desire for ourselves or for someone dear to us, yet which has been so long unfulfilled that we have looked upon it as only a lost desire, that which might have been but now cannot be, and so have given up hope of seeing it fulfilled in this life. That thing, if it is in line with what we know to be His expressed will (as a son to Abraham and Sarah was), God intends to do for us, even if we know that it is of such utter impossibility that we only laugh at the absurdity of anyone's supposing it could ever now come to pass. That thing God intends to do for us, if we will let Him. "Is anything too hard for the Lord?" Not when we believe in Him enough to go forward and do His will, and let Him do the impossible for us. Nothing is too hard for Jehovah to do for them that trust Him. ~ Streams in the Desert. 

All this blessed me tonight in my fight for joy, so I just had to share. I pray that you're just as encouraged.

Guest Post on Courage in Singleness

31 Days of Courage – Singleness.

Posted on October 11, 2013 by Laura

Today’s post is the first of several guest posts that will appear this month. Jen and I attended college together, and since I admire her courage and joy when it comes to singleness, I asked her to share with all of you.

When I was asked to write a guest post on the topic of courage in singleness and striking the balance between being honest about my desire to marry as well to live a full life as a single, I was humbled. Me having courage? Any hint of courage or joyful embrace of the life I’m blessed to call mine was (is) completely a gift of His grace. I’ll be honest and admit there were more days when tears stream down my face after attending yet another bridal shower, baby shower or wedding (including those of two of my younger sisters and even “kids” I used to babysit!).

A big shift in my thinking about singleness came 3 years ago when I decided to start praying boldly for other singles, as well as my married friends, through my blog: Wives Praying Boldly. I had a dream of starting an online community that would bring together women of all seasons – singles, marrieds, married with children – in prayer for the men in their lives. . .or the ones that would be. As I got to know some of my readers and hear their stories, I marveled at the common bond we shared and praying for them got my eyes off of myself and focused on their needs. Simple, yet life changing for me.

Fast forward to this summer. . .more than ever, people keep commenting to me how joyful I seem. Part of that stemmed from finding opportunities to serve. I’m convinced that true JOY is found in serving others!

Another aspect of joy is found in resting in His faithfulness. A handful of friends have recently commented, “Jen, this is most peaceful and strong I’ve seen your heart in a long time.” It’s so interesting, because though there are some seemingly impossible circumstances in my life, I feel more assured than ever that God will display His glory in a way that shows off His goodness and faithfulness. And there have been many sweet reminders this summer that God hasn’t forgotten me & many faith-building moments. . .encouraging new people I’ve met and far more grace than I could ever deserve!

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’ve had my tough moments, like when my 17 year old “baby” sister started a serious relationship, that I just cried and asked the Lord, “When will my turn come?”

But in the midst of my doubts, tears and my 35th birthday at the end of the summer (Yes, 35! And I was the girl in high school who was sure I’d be married young), God began to open my eyes to see His faithfulness in a new way. I noticed my prayers changing from, “God, will you please give me the gift of marriage?” or “If you don’t have marriage for me, please take away this longing” to “Thank you, Lord, for the godly man you have for me & for the way our marriage will be for our good and your glory.” Not a request, but a quiet confidence that He was orchestrating details that I couldn’t see, that He had given me this deep desire to fulfill it, and that it would happen without any need for me to force things or make it happen.

I felt a new sense of peace and joy in regards to marriage and singleness. And when doubts come, I go back to the truth of who Christ says I am in The Word. Repeating truth until it drowns out the lies of the enemy. And eventually the battles get shorter, because satan cannot stand to hear God’s truth.

Above all, be encouraged, my friends. . .God is for you!

Further resources: two books on singleness that truly encouraged me: Get Married by Candice Watters (Don’t let the title turn you off, though I know it deterred me from reading it for quite a while. The message is unbelievably needed and refreshing.) And Becoming Chao by my dear friend, Colleen Elisabeth Chao (married at 34 to a godly man, this journey is written by a dear friend whose story came at a time when I so greatly needed to hear that good marriages do happen in the 30′s.)

Jen began her blog, Wives Praying Boldly, to encourage and inspire women of all seasons as they pray for their husbands and future husbands. Whether you’re single or married, this community is for you!

Waiting

"Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait I say on the Lord." Psalm 27:14

"When Thy God hides His face, say not that He hath forgotten thee. He is but tarrying a little while to make thee love Him better; and when He cometh, thou shalt have joy in the Lord, and shalt rejoice with joy unspeakable. Waiting exercises our grace; waiting tries our faith; therefore, wait on in hope; for though the promise tarry, it can never come too late." C.Spurgeon

When the Day Comes...

"When the day comes that your love story is celebrated by your closest friends and family, you'll know that every prayer was worth it. Every whispered word from a tender heart is precious to God. No request is ignored. No moment spent with your Heavenly Father is wasted. 

You might even wish you had prayed more. Why? Because your prayers are the first gifts you will give to your future husband. Gifts in which heaven participates. Gifts send ahead before the two of you have even met." ~ Praying for Your Future Husband: Preparing Your Heart for His by Robin Jones Gunn and Tricia Goyer.

Future Grace Quote

"The strength of patience hangs on our capacity to believe that God is up to something good for us in all our delays and detours." ~ Future Grace

Unanswered Prayers

"We must not suffer Satan to shake our confidence in the God of truth by pointing to our unanswered prayers. Unanswered petitions are not unheard. God keeps a file for our prayers—they are treasured in the King's archives. This is a registry in the court of heaven wherein every prayer is recorded. Tried believer, thy Lord hath a tear-bottle in which the costly drops of sacred grief are put away, and a book in which thy holy groanings are numbered. By-and-by, thy suit shall prevail. Canst thou not be content to wait a little? Will not thy Lord's time be better than thy time? By-and-by He will appear, to thy soul's joy, and make thee put away the sackcloth and ashes of long waiting, and put on the scarlet and fine linen of full fruition." ~ Spurgeon

You Are Waiting

"You are waiting because there is a plan. You are waiting because your life is under the control of One who is wise and good. You can rest, not because you know what is happening, but because you know the One who is in control of what is happening right now. ” Paul Tripp

God of the Unlikely & Impossible

20 MAR 2013 / NO COMMENTS

God not only makes promises that he will keep, he makes promises that only he can keep.

We trust in the God of the unlikely & impossible.

Red Sea parts, bread falls from heaven, water turns into wine, walking on water…we trust in the God of the unlikely and impossible. 

God becomes man, sick are healed, dead are raised, “it is finished,” tomb is empty…we trust in the God of the unlikely & impossible.

Sinners become saints, liars become truth tellers, blasphemers become worshippers, guilty are forgiven, rejected are accepted, bound are freed, useless are made useful… we trust in the God of the unlikely & impossible.

I’m not sure what you are anxious, worried, discouraged, devastated, nervous, or uncertain about. But here is some advice—put your hope in the God of the unlikely and impossible.

“For nothing will be impossible with God.”  Luke 1:37

Said the angel to the pregnant virgin.

- See more at: http://bluecollargospel.com/god-of-the-unlikely-impossible/#sthash.CL9lBTyp.dpuf

Every Bitter Thing is Sweet Excerpts

When forced to look at room full of women who were celebrating what I didn’t have — many of whom had experienced that for which I had desperately prayed — I couldn’t run away from this question.

So when it was time for my own baby shower — a place to celebrate this little promise that now has a heartbeat and fingernails and eyelashes — a dozen drives to friends’ homes, when I had coached myself on the way there and cried to Him on the way home, came back to me. He formed me in those days that marked my lack.

Though dark days will likely come again, He’ll never hear my barren cry again. Though the promise of trouble in this earth will still weave its way into my story, He’ll never hold those particular tears, shed as I said — out loud — you are good to me, God over the dashboard, on the way home from another baby shower, while my heart didn’t feel it. The secret conversation where I bled words to Him in the elevator on the way down from another 4th-floor newborn visit to Martha Jefferson hospital has ended.

For the full article, click the link below:

http://everybitterthingissweet.com/2013/09/what-if-i-made-him-marvel/#more-9715

Be The Person...

God of the Impossible

For more of Sarah Hagerty's incredible story, click here: http://everybitterthingissweet.com/and-this-is-who-i-am/ This is one of my favorite blogs and I so identify with her heart, even though our waiting seasons have been different. She so beautifully captures her experience through her poetic and heartfelt writing.

Some of My Favorite WPB Posts

http://wivesprayingboldly.blogspot.com/2011/02/exchanging-pleasantries.html

http://wivesprayingboldly.blogspot.com/2011/02/his-wife.html

http://wivesprayingboldly.blogspot.com/2011/09/why-pray-for-husband-by-carolyn.html

http://wivesprayingboldly.blogspot.com/2011/03/colleens-love-story.html

http://wivesprayingboldly.blogspot.com/2011/03/set-free-by-truth.html

http://wivesprayingboldly.blogspot.com/2011/03/when-youre-30-single.html

http://wivesprayingboldly.blogspot.com/2011/03/poem-for-melissa.html

http://wivesprayingboldly.blogspot.com/2011/03/raw-real.html

http://wivesprayingboldly.blogspot.com/2011/03/bethanys-prayer.html

http://wivesprayingboldly.blogspot.com/2011_04_01_archive.html

http://wivesprayingboldly.blogspot.com/2011/04/with-reckless-abandon.html

http://wivesprayingboldly.blogspot.com/2011/04/confessions-forgiveness-and-little-cs.html

http://wivesprayingboldly.blogspot.com/2011/04/my-marriage-was-over.html

http://wivesprayingboldly.blogspot.com/2011/05/favorite-quote-of-week.html

http://wivesprayingboldly.blogspot.com/2011/05/fresh-perspective.html

http://wivesprayingboldly.blogspot.com/2011/06/just-friends-by-colleen-chao.html

http://wivesprayingboldly.blogspot.com/2011/06/bondage-traced-back-to-lie.html

http://wivesprayingboldly.blogspot.com/2011/08/why-this-all-started.html

http://wivesprayingboldly.blogspot.com/2011_09_01_archive.html

http://wivesprayingboldly.blogspot.com/2011/10/not-forgotten.html

http://wivesprayingboldly.blogspot.com/2011/10/when-youre-in-love.html

http://wivesprayingboldly.blogspot.com/2011/12/colleens-book-list.html


http://wivesprayingboldly.blogspot.com/2011/07/delayed-blessings.html

http://wivesprayingboldly.blogspot.com/2011/07/contentment-as-act-of-worship.html

http://wivesprayingboldly.blogspot.com/2011/07/fragrance-and-prayer.html

http://wivesprayingboldly.blogspot.com/2011/07/dont-lose-heart.html

Thanksgiving Precedes the Miracle!

My copy of Streams in the Desert is heavily highlighted & this devotional for August 4th is completely underlined. It's that good & I've already read it 3 times just this weekend! Read and be blessed, my friends!

"And Jesus lifted up his eyes, and said, 'Father, I thank thee that Thou hast heard me.' John 11:41

This is a very strange and unusual order. Lazarus is still in the grave, and the thanksgiving precedes the miracle of resurrection. I thought that the thanksgiving would have risen when the great deed has been wrought, and Lazarus was restored to life again. But Jesus gives thanks for what He is about to receive.  The gratitude breaks forth before the bounty has arrived, in the assurance that it is certainly on the way. The song of victory is sung before the battle has been fought. It is the sower who is singing the song of the harvest home. It is thanksgiving before the miracle!

Who thinks of announcing a victory-psalm when the crusaders are just starting our for the field? Where can we hear the grateful song for the answer which has not yet been received? And after all, there is nothing strange or forced, or unreasonable to the Master's order.

Praise is really the most vital preparatory ministry to the working of the miracles.  

Miracles are wrought by spiritual power. Spiritual power is always proportioned to our faith.

Praise Changes Things.

Nothing so pleases God in connection with our prayer and our praise, and nothing so blesses the man who prays as the praise which he offers. I got a great blessing once in China in this connection. I had received bad and sad news from home, and deep shadows had covered my soul. I prayed, but the darkness did not vanish. I summoned myself to endure, but the darkness only deepened. Just then I went to an inland station and saw on the wall of the mission home these words: "Try Thanksgiving." I did, and in a moment every shadow was gone, not to return. Yes, the psalmist was right, "It is a good thing to give thanks unto the Lord." 

Update

3 friends recently have noticed and said, "Jen, this is most peaceful and strong I've seen your heart in a long time." It's so interesting, because though there are some seemingly impossible circumstances in my life, I feel more assured than ever that God will display His glory in a way that shows off His goodness and faithfulness. And there have been many sweet reminders this summer that God hasn't forgotten me & many faith-building moments. . .encouraging new people I've met and far more grace than I could ever deserve! #‎beyondblessed

Straight Talk About Singleness

http://mazesofcontemplation.blogspot.com/2010/06/straight-talk-about-singleness.html

A Man's Character

http://marshill.com/2012/10/03/8-things-to-convince-you-of-a-mans-character

Thank you to my friend, Melissa, for sharing this article!

Captivating

There is nothing more captivating than a heart full of love for Jesus!!

It's Good to Wait

This article was sweet refreshment for my heart. A highlight for me was when the author noted the redemptive nature of waiting (something I haven't thought about in a while) and I love the closing paragraph:

"When you wait on the Lord, the time before marriage will be sweeter. Your spirit will be at peace, even with all the frustration of our relationally broken world. You'll be better prepared to get married and be married for His glory. And if marriage never happens, though thankfully that's statistically unlikely, your waiting won't have been wasted."

Click the link below for the rest of the article.


http://www.boundless.org/adulthood/2009/its-good-to-wait

Just read this in Streams in the Desert (July 22nd devotion):

"Waiting in the sunshine of His love is what will ripen the soul for His blessing. Be assured that if God waits longer than you would wish, it is only to make the blessing doubly precious."

Corrie ten Boom Quote

31 Days of Praying for Your Husband by Colleen Chao

I read the following article on Colleen's blog & definitely want to do this with anyone who is interested starting August 1st! I can't think of a better gift to give your husband or future husband than intercession on his behalf. :) 

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

31 days of praying for your husband

To quote my sister-in-law Shawna, "Praying for your husband is one of the highest callings and greatest responsibilities of a wife."Every time Shawna says that, I want to jump down on my knees right then and there to start warring in prayer for Eddie.

For the past several weeks, my sisters-in-law as well as a few of my dear friends and I have been praying through Nancy Leigh DeMoss' 31 Days of Praying for Your Husband. It has been a beautiful exercise of faith, and we have seen God at work—both in our husbands and in us! In fact, it's been such a wonderful experience that I want to invite you to join us.

Photography by Lorelei Conover. Copyright 2010.

Here's my challenge to you, be you newlywed or veteran wife: Ask a few friends to join you in this 31-day prayer venture. Then compile a list of those friends, and each day copy-and-paste a prayer request from the guide below into a text or email to send them. I do this from my iPhone each day during Jeremy's nap, and it takes all of 30 seconds.

{And by the way, this isn't just a married women's thing. My friend Jen Brown, a beautiful single woman in her mid-thirties, inspires me with her blog Wives Praying Boldly, where she encourages both married and single women to be praying vigilantly for their husbands.}

Like I've said before, I don't know much about marriage yet, but I do know a mighty God who loves to do "abundantly more than all we can ask or imagine." But dear one, are we even asking? Let's get to it!

31 Days of Praying for Your Husband
by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

Day 1 
Pray that your husband will grow spiritually and consider his accountability before the Lord. Pray that he will guard his heart by developing spiritual disciplines—Bible reading and study, prayer, meditation, scripture memorization, etc. (2 Peter 3:18; Prov. 4:23)

Day 2 
Pray that your husband’s relationship with God and His Word will bear fruit in his life. Pray that he will be a man of wisdom and understanding, fearing the Lord. (Prov. 3:7, 9:10; Ps. 112:1)

Day 3 
Pray that your husband will be humble and quick to agree with God about his sin. Pray that his heart will be tender toward the voice of the Lord. (Ps. 51:2-4; Micah 6:8)

Day 4
Pray that your husband will grow in leadership skills in your relationship—protecting and providing for you. Pray that he will lead you wisely and love you sacrificially, so that God will be glorified in your marriage. (Eph. 5:25-29; Col. 3:19)

Day 5
Pray that your husband will be faithful to his wedding vows. Pray that he will have a desire to cultivate your relationship as a sign of his loyalty and commitment to you, and as a picture of Christ’s love for the Church. (Prov. 20:6; Gen. 2:24)

Day 6
Pray that your husband will love righteousness and hate wickedness, especially the evils of the culture. Pray that he will recognize and avoid wickedness in his own life, and if necessary, take a clear, strong stand against evil. (Prov. 27:12; John 17:15; 1 Cor. 10:12-13)

Day 7
Pray that your husband will safeguard his heart against inappropriate relationships with the opposite sex. Pray that his heart will be pure and undivided in his commitment to you. (Prov. 6:23-24, 26; Rom. 13:14)

Day 8
Pray that your husband will work hard to provide for your family, to the best of his ability. Pray that the character qualities necessary for a successful career and ministry will be a growing part of his character—persistence, decisiveness, strength, an analytical mind, organizational skills, positive relationships with people, determination, etc. (Rom. 12:11; 1 Cor. 15:58)

Day 9
Pray that your husband handle finances wisely, will have discernment concerning budgeting and investments, and will be a good steward of his money in regard to giving to the Lord’s work. Pray that money will not become a source of discord in your family. (Prov. 23:4-5; Rom. 12:13; Heb. 13:5)

Day 10
Pray that your husband will cultivate strong integrity, and not compromise his convictions. Pray that his testimony will be genuine, that he will be honest in his business dealings, and will never do anything that he needs to hide from others. (Prov. 20:7; 1 Tim. 1:5, 3:7; Eph. 6:10-12)

Day 11
Pray that your husband will have a humble, teachable spirit and a servant’s heart before the Lord. Pray that he will listen to God and desire to do His will. (Prov. 15:33; Eph. 6:6)

Day 12
Pray that your husband will yield his sexual drive to the Lord and practice self control. Pray that your sexual intimacy together will be fresh, positive, and a reflection of selfless love. (Prov. 5:15, 18; 1 Cor. 7:3; Song of Solomon 7:10)

Day 13
Pray that your husband use practical skills to build your family and make wise decisions for your welfare. Pray that he will serve unselfishly. (Gal. 5:13; Phil. 2:3-4)

Day 14
Pray that your husband will speak words that build you and your family, and reflect a heart of love. Pray that he will not use filthy language. (Prov. 18:21; Eph. 4:29)

Day 15
Pray that your husband will choose his friends wisely. Pray that God will bring him men who will encourage his accountability before God, and will not lead him into sin. (Prov. 13:20; Prov. 27:17)

Day 16
Pray that your husband will choose healthy, God-honoring activities. Pray that he will not live in bondage to any questionable habits or hobbies, but that he will experience freedom in holiness as he yields to the Spirit’s control. (1 Cor. 6:12, 10:31; 2 Tim. 2:4)

Day 17
Pray that your husband will enjoy his manliness as he patterns his life after Christ and strong men in the faith. Pray for his physical, emotional, mental, social and spiritual strength. (Eph. 3:16; 1 Peter 2:21; 1 Cor. 10:11)

Day 18
Pray that your husband will have an eternal perspective—living in light of eternity. Pray that he will reject materialism and temporal values and put God first in his life. (Matt. 6:33; Deut. 6:5; Eph. 5:16; Ps. 90:12)

Day 19
Pray that your husband will be patient and a man of peace. Pray that he will not give in to anger, but will allow the Holy Spirit to control his responses. (Rom. 14:19; Ps. 34:14)

Day 20
Pray that your husband will yield his mind and thoughts to the Lord. Pray that he will not entertain immoral or impure thoughts, and that he will resist the temptation to indulge in pornography. (Prov. 27:12; 2 Cor. 10:5)

Day 21
Pray that your husband will learn how to relax in the Lord and, in his greatest times of stress, find joy and peace in his relationship with God. Pray that he will submit his schedule to the Lord. (Neh. 8:10; Prov. 17:22; Ps. 16:11)

Day 22
Pray that your husband will practice forgiveness in your relationship and with others. Pray that he will recognize any roots of bitterness, and yield any resentment and unforgiving attitudes to the Lord. (Eph. 4:32; Heb. 12:15)

Day 23
Pray that your husband will be a good father—disciplining his children wisely and loving them unconditionally. If he is not a father, pray that he will find a young man to mentor in the things of the Lord. (Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21; 2 Tim. 2:1-2)

Day 24
Pray that your husband will have a balanced life—that he will balance work and play. Pray that he will fear God, but also gain favor with people he knows at work and church. (Luke 2:52; Prov. 13:15)

Day 25
Pray that your husband will be courageous in his stand against evil and injustice, and that he will stand for the truth. Pray that he will protect you and your family from Satan’s attacks. (Ps. 31:24; Eph. 6:13; Ps. 27:14)

Day 26
Pray that your husband will discover and live his God-given purpose. Pray that he will offer all his dreams to the Lord, and pursue only those goals that will bring God glory and count for eternity. (Jer. 29:11; 1 Cor. 10:31)

Day 27
Pray that your husband will understand the importance of taking care of his body—the temple of the Holy Spirit—for the glory of God. Pray that he will practice self-control by making wise food choices, and get sufficient exercise to stay healthy. (Rom. 12:1-2; 1 Cor. 6:19-20, 9:27)

Day 28
Pray that your husband will be a man of prayer. Pray that he will seek and pursue God in purposeful quiet times. (1 Thess. 5:17; Luke 22:46; James 5:16)

Day 29
Pray that your husband will surrender his time and talents to the Lord. Pray that his spiritual gifts will be manifest in his career, at church, and in your home. (Eph. 5:15-16; 1 Cor. 12:4, 7)

Day 30
Pray that your husband will serve God and others with pure motives. Pray that he will obey the Lord from his heart, and glorify Him in everything. (1 Cor. 10:13; John 7:17-18; Col. 3:23-24)

Day 31
Pray that your husband will recognize the lies of the Enemy in his life. Pray that his attitudes and actions will be guided by the truth as he brings his thoughts into captivity to the Word of God. (John 8:44; 2 Cor. 10:4-5)

© Revive Our Hearts. Used with permission. www.ReviveOurHearts.com. Info@ReviveOurHearts.com.

Colleen's Thoughts on Marriage: 3 Years In

If you haven't checked out my friend, Colleen's, blog (becoming chao), I highly recommend it! She is such a gifted writer & I've had the honor of spending time in person with her and her husband as well as exchanging many emails. She is someone I greatly admire & I just know you will love her! Click on the link to view this article she wrote on her blog. Or you can read it here below. Blessings, Jen

http://becomingchao.blogspot.com/2013/07/thoughts-on-marriage-three-years-in.html

Eddie and I will be married three years next month. We’re still newbies, wet behind the ears. But more than one friend of mine has walked away from her marriage before her own third anniversary. What began as bliss ended in broken hearts and bitterness. Marriage was one big disappointment. It was all that the cynics and naysayers had said, and more.

Or was it?

A dear one’s recent divorce has me anguishing over these questions all over again:

What did we girls expect? 

What did we think marriage would look like? 

Do we have any idea what true love really is?

Eddie and I have had one wild ride since we said “I do” on August 28, 2010. We’ve navigated...

~ three deaths in the family;

~ chronic pain and illness (and the bills and isolation to accompany them);

~ job loss and unemployment;

~  two moves, one due to a flooded apartment;

~  financial pressures;

~ starting a family;

~ learning how to juggle and enjoy 19 family members nearby;

~ three job changes;

~ a new church;

and the list goes on...

Some of these have been tremendous blessings, but they’ve still represented significant life change and huge learning curves for a newlywed couple. Needless to say, in three years’ time, life has already begun testing the fiber of our commitment.

It hasn't been easy, but it has been indescribably good. In fact, marriage is far more beautiful than I ever expected because it is a picture of Christ and His bride, the Church. If my marriage is for the purpose of showing Jesus to the world around me (and to my son, whose ideas of marriage are being shaped even now at two years old), then Eddie and I are part of something bigger than “us” and our pursuit of happiness. By loving and serving one another, by keeping covenant, we’re living the gospel in a world that desperately needs Good News.

I’m beginning to understand that the most beautifully aged marriages are the ones that faced the roughest seas and fought by God’s grace and power to stay anchored together. They didn’t stay married because they were “compatible” with each other; they didn’t even stay married because they were always in love. They stayed married because they knew God had put them together for a great purpose and He would hold them together to the end.

And that’s what makes this so good. Marriage is a work of Almighty God for the glory of God.

I love being married. I am stunned by the tenacious love, fierce forgiveness, and power of God that our beautiful covenant requires. I’m humbled by the brokenness and baggage my husband and I have brought into our marriage, and I’m spellbound by the grace and love we experience as we walk with each other through those frailties. I’ve never in my life experienced God’s love and grace like I have with Eddie. 

Like I can talk. We’re only three years into this adventure, remember?

But God’s Word is true, no matter how long I’ve been married. So in a culture of mass marital hysteria (i.e., rampant no-fault divorce and same-sex unions), even young marriages like mine have the opportunity to demonstrate the gospel and showcase Christ-like covenant love to a broken world that has absolutely no idea what love is.

For example, divorce says, “God is not big enough for us; He is not enough for this marriage.” And gay marriage says, "My desires are god and that's all that matters."But covenant love says, “God created this beautiful thing called marriage, so till death do us part, God is going to hold us together.”

The best things in life are worth fighting for. Singleness taught me that. Waiting on God for a godly marriage meant learning to deny my fiery emotional and sexual desires till I was 34 years old. At times it felt like too great a cost. But God’s name was at stake, and He was doing an eternally significant work in my heart and in the hearts of many others. I continue to see fruit today from the labor of those long years. Now my marriage is the great work at hand, and at times it is costly, but only because so much glory is at stake.

Our culture is hostile toward God's idea of marriage, but the gospel thrives in adversity; it is resilient under attack. Your marriage, dear one, is the gospel in living color, so guard it, rejoice in it, fight for it. By God’s grace, by His immeasurable power at work in you, He will hold your marriage together and paint a picture of Love Himself.

"The One who calls you is faithful, and He will do it." 1 Thessalonians 5:24

Pleasure vs. Philanthropy

I read this a couple weeks ago and it keeps coming back to me as I prayerfully seek more opportunities to serve this summer.

"Be useful. How doing for others can make a difference for you.

Psychologist Martin Seligman, PhD, once gave his students a task: Do one pleasurable activity and one philanthropic activity, then write about both. "The afterglow of the pleasurable activity," Seligman observed, "paled in comparison with the effects of the kind action." Wharton professor Adam Grant, author of Give and Take, explains why: "Feeling like you've helped someone provides a sense that you matter."

Philosopher Thomas Hurka, author of The Best Things in Life, agrees: "Caring about and pursuing things other than your own happiness brings it about as a side effect." Opportunities for good deeds are plentiful.

"Often," says Grant, "the most meaningful contribution you can give isn't money. It's yourself."

Wanting to be a Mom

I know what you might be thinking ~ "Jen, you have a long way to go! You're not even married yet!"

True.

But God can do anything! And though my goal is to live my season of singleness to its fullest and enjoy it, I think it's important to acknowledge my longing for marriage and motherhood & let it serve as fuel for earnest prayer.

There's definitely a balance.


Anyway, for the most part, my desire to be a mom is happily satisfied by being a teacher to many many kids and auntie to two sweet boys. There's nothing like being needed by little people! It's completely wonderful.

But lately, I've felt the gentle stirrings of maternal love. . .loving on kids I don't have yet (is that strange to love your future kids??), but hope to someday. Whether they are adopted or my own, I just have this need to be a mom! And (not to sound conceited) I think I'd be great at it!

I've always been one of those counter-culture old fashioned types that wanted to be a wife and mom from a young age. I think it's because my own mom made it look so good! She got married young and has always loved kids. There are 5 girls in our family, but she always says, she could have easily had 10! No, she's not exaggerating, either. She came from a family of 7 kids and her cousins family had 16 kids, so she's always loved big families. All she ever wanted to be was a wife and a mom & considered it her ministry & greatest achievement. How amazing is that??

So, I'm trusting that the God who gave me this desire in a world where more and more women are choosing careers over family or personal fulfillment over pouring themselves out daily for little ones, will fulfill it in the way He sees best. I believe He gave me this mother's heart for a reason and that it will be used for my good & His glory!

This was in Streams in the Desert:

Hab. 2:3, "For the vision is yet for an appointed time. . .though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come."

It takes a long time for some pensioners to learn that delays are not denials. Ah, there are secrets of love and wisdom in the "Delayed Blessings Department," which are little dreamt of! Men would pluck their mercies green when the Lord would have them ripe. "Therefore will the Lord WAIT, that He may be gracious unto you" (Isa. 30:18). Do not grieve Him by doubting His love. Nay, lift up your head, and begin to praise Him even now for the deliverance which is on the way to you, and you will be abundantly rewarded for the delay which has tried your faith.