This post is so good for those of you with families and some food for thought (pun intended!) for those of you who will have families in the future. My friend Heather is an incredible wife,
mom (that's her beautiful little girl in the pic above and she's got another baby girl on the way), former principal, college professor, teacher, educational consultant, motivational speaker and one of the most
sold-out-for-Jesus women I know! Here's a link to her blog:
http://timewithheather.blogspot.com
The AMAZING Benefits of Family Dinner Time!
The benefits of eating dinner together as a family are staggering! In a time where Moms and Dads are doing their best to balance, work, social events, responsibilities and their children’s CRAZY schedules, it has sadly become obsolete in our culture. According to a study by A.C. Nielsen Co. ‘The average parent spends 38.5 minutes per week in meaningful conversation with their children. Perhaps if parents knew the LIFE-LONG BENEFITS of eating dinner together as a family, they would do everything within their power to protect this precious time of day.
According to the National Center on Addiction & Substance Abuse at Columbia University (2007), teenagers who eat with their families at least five times a week are more likely to get better grades in school and much less likely to have substance abuse problems. It found teens having family dinners five or more times a week were 42 percent less likely to drink alcohol, 59 percent less likely to smoke cigarettes, and 66 percent less likely to try marijuana. The survey also found that frequent family dinners were associated with better school performance, with teens 40 percent more likely to get A's and B's. Here’s some more for you: Children and teens who have more than 3 meals together as a family per week are:
At 70% lower risk for substance abuse
Half as likely to try cigarettes
Half as likely to be daily cigarette smokers
Half as likely to try marijuana
Half as likely to get drunk monthly
One third less likely to try alcohol
Likelier to get better grades in school
Less likely to have friends who drink alcohol & use marijuana
Almost 40% likelier to say future drug use will never happen
Want some more reasons? Here ya go!
Language Development: A Harvard University study found that family dinners were the most important family events in helping children develop language skills.“Family dinners are more important than play, story time and other family events in the development of vocabulary of younger children.” (Harvard Research, 1996) Eating Disorders: “Adolescent girls who have frequent family meals, and a positive atmosphere during those meals, are less likely to have eating disorders”. (University of Minnesota, 2004)
I thought it was very interesting that all of the studies I read mentioned the “dinner time” together must be ENJOYABLE. It is a time for nourishment, comfort and support. A time for your family to gether safely. This might sound too Beaver Cleaver for some of you (who I know have already thrown your hands up and said, “Ya Right!”) and to others it sounds like a dream they wish could come true. For those that desire the outcomes mentioned above for your family, here are some tips I have gathered over the years from those amazing parents I like to call “Parent Extraordinaires” as well as Web MD and my other good friend, Super Nanny!
Set a small goal and start from there. Perhaps 2X a week and try to build up!
Keep it simple – Family Dinners don’t have to be elaborate. Even ordering take-out is fine, just eat it together!
Get the family involved in setting the table and helping you get ready. I KNOW they aren’t as fast as you, but they are feeling like they are contributing and learning. Remember, you are training them with every part of your day. Encourage them on what a HELP they are to you!
Keep the TV off and don’t answer phones or texts during meals. This let’s your kids know that there is nothing more important in the world than them! Plus, it’s just rude. J
Share stories from when you were kids! Our kids LOVE to hear about when we were little! It establishes fun memories and someday they will be re-telling them to their children!
Play “Peaks and Pits”. Anyone ever asked their child how their day was just to hear the sweet answer of, “Fine”. Well, it is AMAZING what you can find out about your child’s day by playing this simple game. Peak = The BEST part of your day. Pit = The WORST part of your day. Start with yourself at first to model how it’s done and this will surely become a highlight of the day for you.
This is not the time to have a serious discussion. It’s a time to just let some things go for the sake of peace and enjoyment together.
Don’t make it a food battle. Your little one shouldn’t be crying because they STILL have to eat 4 more bites of their vegetables EVERY DAY. Super Nanny has the BEST advice when it comes to this in order to avoid the “dinner time battle”.
Establish how long dinner time will be
Put their plate with a few choices on it for them to eat
They don’t have to eat if they don’t want to, but explain that when dinner is over, the plate will be gone and you will not serve them anything else. No battle, just collect the plate at the end of the meal.
Child might go to bed hungry, might not. They will not die if they go to bed without dinner but they will soon realize that dinner time is their one time shot to eat up. Give it a couple days, be consistent with it, and it won’t be an issue anymore.
Eating dinner together every day is one of THE most valuable things you can do together as a family. It has countless opportunities for your children as well as provides the opportunity to model positive relationships, establish family traditions, create life-long memories, teach values, and provide a sense of safety for your kids. I just LOVE this stuff. Absolutely Priceless.
Bon Appetit!
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