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Source: betseyr.tumblr.com via Lorina on Pinterest
Why do I share my shame and struggles on here? Truthfully, my pride would MUCH rather share my glory stories with you than the ones that reveal my failures where my sin is exposed in all it's ugliness. But this quote moves me to do otherwise:
"Sometimes God redeems your story by surrounding you with people who need to hear your past so it doesn't become their future." -- Jon Acuff
Read this (post below) through tears - so timely - like balm for my heart. I'm ashamed to admit I've always struggled with comparing to my amazing sisters and have (even recently) let the enemy steal my joy when my attempt to be more like them have been a complete flop. I can't thank you enough for this post, Colleen!
Like apples to oranges (but we're all a little fruity) by Colleen Chao
Have you ever wondered why we girls like to compare ourselves with other girls? What is it with us?! From our boyfriends to babies, talents to temptations, we measure ourselves against Lydia, Amy, and Desiree to determine our standing and worth. Without fail, the results of our survey leave us feeling either inferior and condemned... or superior and proud.
Maybe I’m the only one, but have you ever had any thoughts like these?
She always has a new outfit and looks perfect. I feel so plain and pieced together next to her. Well, at least I’m not a shopaholic!
I’ll never do that at my wedding. That’s so weird…
How does she have three kids, a home business, a church ministry, and make homemade crafts? I can barely keep up with one baby, cooking, and cleaning! I wish I could juggle as well as she does.
Her house is a disaster! I’ll never let mine look like that.
Everything seems to come so easily to her. She would never understand my struggles.
It’s humbling to admit that those kinds of thoughts have run through my head, but alas, they have—many times. I’m so thankful for a kind Savior whose Spirit convicts me of my sin, prompts me to reject (and hate) those thoughts, and reminds me that my value is found in Him alone. Then, when I’m filled up with His love and His truth about who I am, I’m free to accept but not be dependent upon others’ love and affirmation. I can stop comparing. I can love others with abandon. Christ’s love liberates me from both pride and condemnation. And it gives me the grace to understand that I don’t have the full story behind another woman’s choices and priorities, accomplishments and shortcomings.
I love the perspective of time (something I have in my mid-thirties that I didn’t have in my teens and twenties). I don’t compare myself nearly as much as I did ten years ago because I’ve seen that God’s story is not a short children’s book—it’s a long, beautiful, dramatic novel. Just as it seems that the final chapter of our life has been etched in stone, another chapter unfolds, with new daring adventures and fresh struggles and joys. When I was single and approaching 30 years old, it was too easy to look at my beautiful friends with godly husbands, comfy homes, precious children, and a close-knit circle of married friends—and feel like I’d gotten the short end of the stick: I was single, working full-time, migrating between different apartments and roommates, and feeling like I didn’t really fit in anywhere. But time has revealed that “what appears to be is not, and what has not yet appeared will be by faith” (Pastor Bill Yeager). Our God is about a good sanctifying work in all of His children, and He is faithful to weave joys and sorrows into each of our lives in such a way that we need Him and delight in Him alone. My long-married friends have suffered deeply in their own ways, in ways I never could endure; and it’s our differences that have deepened and beautified our friendships.
Oh, for the bigger picture! We are shortsighted, are we not? We desperately need to meditate on Scriptures like Isaiah 41:10, “Do not look anxiously look about you, for I am your God” and John 21:21-22, “[Peter] said to Jesus, ‘Lord, what about [John]?’ Jesus said to him, ‘If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!’” Peter was comparing himself with John, which blinded him to what was truly important: following Jesus. Peter wanted to be better than John, favored over John—and Jesus wouldn’t have any of it!
“Colleen, you follow me!” Stop comparing. Stop looking anxiously about. Stop trying to compete and be better than the next woman. Stop despairing and feeling inferior. Fix your eyes on the One who formed you in your mother’s womb, who will complete the good work He began in you, and who loves you with an everlasting love.
