The Best Preparation for Marriage

When I was 18, I used to daydream about preparing for marriage, but it usually involved ways to become outwardly beautiful - workout routines, facials, test driving any product that promised to make my tangled blonde hair more manageable...etc. At 36, though I still want to be beautiful for my future husband, I find myself evaluating my spiritual fitness and beauty far more often, knowing that will impact my future marriage in more meaningful ways than achieving physical perfection (which is an impossible goal anyway!).

Now, I'm not fully awake yet (it's around 3am), but here's what's on my mind as far as marriage preparation goes...

Here's where this all started...hope it's not too jumbled to follow...

Woke up thinking about this quote (I know, I know, why am I up at this hour pondering things like this?) from one of my favorite authors, Nancy Leigh DeMoss, "There is no person who can meet my deepest needs. No one and nothing can make me truly happy, apart from God." I think letting God meet my deepest human needs for acceptance, security and significance will allow me to approach my future husband in a much healthier way. It frees me up to give and serve instead of overwhelming him with my emotional needs.

The common traits I've noticed about the happiest couples I've met are selflessness (interesting how the most satisfied spouses tend to be quick to love sacrificially and seek to serve selflessly), being deeply grounded in their identity in Christ, spending time daily reading the Bible and being faithful prayer warriors.

I remember one of the female speakers at the Pursuit Conference I attended at Focus on the Family this summer saying that the BEST preparation for marriage was to be secure in your identity in Christ. I have 2 sets of what I call Truth cards (statements and verses that affirm my identity in Christ) that I can tuck in my purse or keep on my desk at work to renew my mind with the reality of who God says I am. I'm committing to meditating on these daily. Feel free to join me, if you like. :)

Who I am in Christ

I Am Accepted:

John 1:12 I am God's child

Jon 15:15 I am Christ's friend

Rom. 5:1 I have been justified

1 Cor. 6:17 I am united with the Lord and I am one spirit with Him

1 Cor. 6:19,20 I have been bought with a price. I belong to God

1 Cor 12:27 I am a member of Christ's body

Eph. 1:1 I am a saint

Eph 1:5 I have been adopted as God's child

Eph. 2:18 I have direct access to God through the Holy Spirit

Col. 1:14 I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins

Col. 2:10 I am complete in Christ

I Am Secure:

Rom. 8:1,2 I am free forever from condemnation

Rom. 8:28 I am assured that all things work together for good

Rom. 8:31-34 I am free from any condemning charges against me

Rom. 8:35-39 I cannot be separated from the love of God

2 Cor 1:21,22 I have been established, anointed and sealed by God

Col. 3:3 I am hidden with Christ in God

Phil. 1:6 I am confident that the good work that God has begun in me will be perfected

Phil. 3:20 I am a citizen of heaven

2 Tim. 1:7 I have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind

Heb. 4:16 I can find grace and mercy to help in time of need

1 John 5:18 I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me

I Am Significant:

Matt. 5:13, 14 I am the salt and light of the earth

John 15:1,5 I am a branch of the true vine, a channel of His life

John 15:16 I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit

Acts 1:8 I am a personal witness of Christ

1 Cor 3:16 I am God's temple

2 Cor. 5:17-21 I am a minister of reconciliation for God

2 Cor 6:1 I am God's coworker

Eph. 2:6 I am seated with Christ in the heavenly realm

Eph. 2:10 I am God's workmanship

Eph. 3:12 I may approach God with freedom and confidence.

Phil. 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me

Another habit that strengthens my spiritual life and will help me in my quest to be a good wife is praying through the armor of God daily. 

Ephesians 6:10-18

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.