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Yes, I'm single and 32, but I don't think of my singleness as suffering. I'd describe where I'm at as a busy fruitful season with an underlying longing for marriage and a family of my very own. Though, I'll admit, sometimes I do feel guilty praying for marriage - asking for more when God has already blessed me so much!
But don't get me wrong. I have my moments (especially when my last serious courtship ended earlier this year) when tears stream down my cheeks at night and I have the audacity to ask my God in a half-whisper, "How much longer, Lord? Have you forgotten me?"
When lies like this pop into my head or I let myself wallow in self-pity, I know it's time to get out my verses and quote Scripture outloud - to saturate my mind with truth until those thoughts cease. It works every time. I keep my verses on 3 x 5 cards in my purse usually. You never know when lies might hit & you need the Word at your fingertips if you're going to win the battle for your mind. Worship is also incredibly helpful. Here's an excerpt from Streams in the Desert that caught my attention in regards to this idea, "When the fires of affliction draw songs of praise from us, we are indeed purified, and our God glorified!" Isn't that a beautiful thought? For the times I feel too weary even to sing, I turn on worship songs and let the words wash over my mind and heart.
In fact, earlier this week on my drive to work, I started to wander down Woe-Is-Me Lane & wondered why I've been given this love of domesticity, delight in hostessing, creativity, supporting others, helping raise and teach other people's kids and yet be asked to wait on marriage and family. My younger sisters got married in their early twenties, just like my parents did.
"Am I supposed to save up these gifts for 'someday'?" I wondered out loud in between sips of hot coffee.
The answer is no! There are people I can bless who need my gifts right now. That's why I wanted to start this Wives Praying Boldly blog. I can prayerfully support my future husband now by praying for him. And I can prayerfully support the marriages of those around me. That's where my heart is at & the purpose of this whole endeavor. Hosting parties at my new apartment is a way for me to communicate love for people, practice domesticity and let my creative juices flow freely. It's a way for me to do what I love best: celebrate life and cherish others!
I think the most challenging times to be content have been when I'm around people whose marriages I admire (those God-honoring marriages like Lizzie's, Emma Anne's, Wendy's, my sisters', and others like that) 2 of my 4 younger sisters got married. My selfishness threatened to get the best of me each time I was tempted to wonder, "Why can't it be my turn, Lord?" But I prayed that my selfishness would not get in the way of their joy and God graciously answered my request. I was SO full of joy on their wedding days that there was no room for self-pity in my heart. Isn't God good? :)
It's easier for me to pray for my single friends, honestly. Please pass this absolutely fabulous article (below) titled "When You're 30 & Single" on to anyone who might be blessed by it. And if you think of it, take a minute to pray for an amazing single girl today - who long to serve in the ministry of marriage and raise Godly kids.
http://becomingchao.blogspot.com/2011/03/when-youre-30-and-single.html?spref=fb
